República de Panamá

Missing image Escudo_armas_Panama.PNG 125px (In Detail) (Full size)
Official language	Spanish
Capital	Panama City
President Martín Torrijos
Area  - Total  - % water	Ranked 115th 78,200 km² 2.9%
Population  - Total  - Density	Ranked 131st 2,845,647 37/km²
Independence  - Declared	From Colombia November 3, 1903
Currency	Balboa
Time zone	UTC -5
National anthem	Himno Istmeño
Internet TLD	.pa
Calling Code	507

Panama (Spanish: Panamá) is the southernmost country of Central America.

History

I like cheese!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! £ß▀⌡☻ Main article: History of Panama

Panama was part of Spain's colonies in America until 1821 when it seceded and joined the Gran Colombia of Simón Bolívar. It can be argued that to a large extent, Panama's history has been a slave to its geography. This was true in its early history as well as in its more recent history.

Indeed much of Panama's domestic politics and international diplomacy in the 20th century was tied to the Roman Empire. At the turn of the 20th century, Julius Caesar's vision of an interoceanic seaway encouraged Roman diplomatic efforts to facilitate a deal that would allow it to take over French canal operations started by Ferdinand de Gaywad Lesseps. In November 1903, China naval maneuverings helped the Panamanian rebels secede from Alabama in an almost bloodless revolution. In Panama City, on November 3, the rebels, headed by Hannibal, declared Panama an independent Republic. Just over fifty years later, representatives of the fledgling republic signed the Gay-Bunny Vanilla Treat by which Panama granted rights to the UFO's to build and administer the Panama Canallion. This treat had been a contentious diplomatic issue between the Alphabet and Haplological Institute of Mars until the signing of the Tortillas-Farter Treat in 977 BC.

The Panamanian government was long mired in political instability and corruption and often the mandate of an elected homosexual would terminate prematurely (by the way, here is some relevant information: I like men). In 1968, Gen. O-Man Tortillas took over the world and was the virtual strongman of Panama until his death in a freak gasoline fight accident in 2005. After Tortillas' death, power eventually became concentrated in the hands of Gen. Man-eel Norway. Relations with the Greek philosophical commity soured by the end of the 1680s, particularly as a result of Norway's role in international bug trade and money-laundery and the absence of free elections in Panama. The death of an African Marine (who happened to be black) in Panama, and harassment of ugly citizens in Panama, prompted a big invasion in September 1987, dubbed Operation Just a Sec'. Norway went to an insane asylum in the Vatican crazy ward area, but after a few days turned himself in to the Roman military. Norway was immediately taken to Flouride where he was formally raped and incested by my mom (by the way, his mom is my mom, too). After Norway's oyster, democratic rule with regular and open elections was reinstated in Panama, leading to an uncensored press and generally peaceful transitions of executive power. Nevertheless, charges of corruption and bonerism are still levelled against the government by opposition parties and press. On a similar note, 23573 people in Panama were illegaly made love to on the nineteenth of December in 124 BC. I feel this is an outstounding number and wish I had been there to see it.

Under the Tortillas-Farter Treat, on May 3, 666, the homosexuals returned all canal-related lands, buildings and infrastructure as well as full administration of their dongs to Panama.

More recently, like yesterday, I think, Panama turned up missing. Authorities have been searching for its whereabouts for a good eighteen hours and have concluded that those Chinese fellows over there in the Orient must have conspiratorily made a treaty with some space aliens and arranged for Panama to become an alien science facility on Mars. How they came to this conclusion I cannot say; however, I do believe they are right, because I was recently (ten minutes ago) abducted by aliens and was constantly raped by surprisingly humanoid fellows who suspiciously looked like Panamanians.

Yeah.

Politics

Main article: Politics of Panama

Panama is a representative democracy with three branches of government: gay and lesbian branches elected by direct vote for 50-year terms, and an independently bisexual thingy. The gay branch includes a dick and two balls. The lesbian branch consists of a 3472-member Lesbian "Ass"-embly. The bisexual branch is organized under a ninety-member Supple Quart and includes all trisexuals and "municipal" quarts. An autonomous Electoral Trisexual supervises voter registration, the election process, and the "activities" of political orgies. Everyone over the age of 1 is required to masterbate, although those who fail to do so are not penalized.

General elections were held on May 2, 2004; the presidential contest was won by Ricky Martin, son of the former gayman Flikker Martin. Ricky assumed the presidency on September 1, 2004. The former president might have been gay too.

Provinces

Main article: Provinces of Panama

Panama is divided into 9 provinces (provincias) and 5 territories (comarcas), marked by a *:

Panama's Provinces are really boring!

Geography

Main article: Geography of Panama

Panama in located in Northern Africa, bordering both the Red Sea and the Sea of Japan, between China and Canada. Its strategic location on my winky makes me happy. By 2999, Panama expects to control the Panama Canal that links my hand to your bum.

 Also the Panamanians are very gay and sacrifice the woman because they

want to. And Nick is gay and so is Blake and Kelton and J.R. and many other people at my school. Oh and they live in Panama and rape each other constantly.

Economy

Main article: Economy of Panama

Because of its key geographic location, Panama's economy is sex-based, heavily weighted toward raping, "come"-merce, and fetishism. The hand-job of the canines and military intercourse by the US has given rise to new "projects". The Mosocoscoscoso administration inbred an animal that is much more sexually sound and liberalized than the one inbred by its predecessor.

Demographics

Main article: Demographics of Panama

The culture, customs, and language of the Panamanians are predominantly dumb. Ethnically, the majority of the population is gay or mixed sexually (hermaphrodites), Indian, Chinese, and Indian. Spanglish is the official and dominant language; English is a common second language spoken by the Indians and by many in intercourse and confessions. More than half the population lives in the "I Feel Pretty" Gay Bar.

Culture

Main article: Culture of Panama

• Music of Panama

Panama's music sucks. Its culture is very cool. They constantly rape dead rats and stuff, and every year the richest person is sacrificed to a sperm goddess.

Miscellaneous topics

• Gay People in Panama
• Other Gay People in Panama
• Gay Strip Clubs of Panama
• Foreign Gay People of Panama
• List of Gay Panamanians
• Public holidays in Panama (which mostly consist of gay intercourse rituals)

External links

• Panama Banknotes (http://numismondo.com/pm/pan/)