| Bad jokes and other deleted nonsense |
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The bulldog bat is descended from the well-known species of dog. The point at which it diverged from the order Carnivora is unknown; however, Pleistocene fossils show the transitory stage, in which the bulldog began to develop recurved teeth and vestigal wings. The prominent facial features of the bulldog are still recognizable on the bulldog bat. However, the ears have modified and become more suitable for receiving ultrasonic echolocation, which is believed to have developed in a freak accident involving a botched larynx surgery. The evolutionary process from bulldog to bulldog bat still occurs today. It appears to be a spontaneous development; many pet owners have been taken aback by the sudden appearance of wings on their beloved canines.
From sound: Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
From Friederike Mayrocker: You can delete this, hon, I'm getting an orgy from Friederike Mayrocker. Come on, delete this page, ya know ya want to!
From Chicken: Chickens can also be very dangerous at times and when angered they can pose a serious threat to one's life.
From WikiWiki: Alternatively, it is used to describe the smoking of marijuana, or more commonly, fake marijuana, soaked in embalming fluid.
From World economy: (Note: All exports, imports, debts and economic aid listed are between nations on Earth. There are currently no significant extraterrestrial imports or exports.)
From Adjustment: An adjustment is the application of specific scientific procedures for the sole purpose of safely correcting subluxation
From Vauxhall Corsa: The Vauxhall Corsa was the successor to the Nova. Popularly driven by retired ladies and hairdressers, it featured one spoiler on top of the other, and a mickey-mouse exhaust which would spontaneously fall off, causing the owner to have no choice but to fit a cheaper, more loud and shiny one. Corsas can be seen in their natural habitat, on their roofs in a ditch surrounded by livestock and insurance assessors.
From Cream pie: A weapon of assault, chiefly used on public figures to get a point across, consisting of synthetic whipped cream on a plate; also, used extensively as a sight gag.
From Flugans: Flugans are creatures from space that come in many different shapes sizes and colors. When the flugans prepared to drive the penguins from their home of Antarctica, they decided that they should desguise themselves as tennis balls. This is why we must be EXTREMLEY CAREFUL with tennis balls. Mars flugans are shaped like coffee mugs.
From Synonym: "Synonym" is an antonym of an antonym of a synonym of an antonym of a synonym of "antonym".
From CamelCase GreenCheese: Green cheese comes from green cows ocated in green fields, occasionally green farmers harvets green milk; however, green cheese does not comes from green milk
From Ireland Information Guide:Village Pump
archive to Ireland Information Guide:Even more bad jokes and other deleted nonsense in a few days???
)> () ))) )') _ ))) ) )- )-( _ )- )-( (- _ )') (- ))) _ ))) () )' ), )> _ () )' )> (- )'
- (according to page history: User:209.78.16.178 04:06 17 Jul 2003 (UTC))
From Wellington, New Zealand:
Like any capital city, bureaucracy and great coffee are its major products (total area of coffee plantations: 0 square millimeters).
From Antiquities Act:
it is good to protect thijngs that arre old. that is why we have the antiquities act. to proetct things that are old. like my granbdmother. the other week, she forgot where she put her keys and burned down her house. that is why it is good that we have the antiquities preservation act. this concludes my report.
From an earlier version of anti-intellectualism:
From crab:
A crab is a person with a sour disposition. A crab generally complains a great deal.
From Punch and Judy:
Note: Included here owing to its tone. This was not actually deleted from the article, as I couldn't think of any more accurate (or better) way of putting it.
Featuring, as it does, a deformed, child-murdering, wife-beating psychopath, who performs appalling acts of violence and cruelty upon all those around him and escapes scot-free, it is greatly enjoyed by small children.
From Brett's Desease:
Brett's desease occurs as early as 5 years of age all the way to full grown adults. The desease is cause by an abundance of skateboarding skill, and a incredible talent in mini-ramp competition. This desease is very rare, and in not curable. Symptoms of the desease are:
-bruised shins
-tattered shoes
-scars and scabs
-pains in knees and ankles
-In rare cases broken bones and immobilization
If you or somebody you know has been diagnosed with this desease, please seek help immediatly and contact your nearest physician.
From Alex's Desease:
Alex's desease occurs when a singular individual engages in a personal relationship with a girl named [deleted]. Uppon disengagement, the subject will display severe signs of denial and dissaproval of the truth. Alex's desease is a disgusting, sinister, vile, sickening, wretched sickness, and anyone who has it must be immediatly burned and buried.
From madrigal:
Composers of English madrigals
From Reasonable man:
A (wo)man of common sense to understand the question in relation to the specific idea that encompass the need for a decision. The term "reasonable" denotes a need for "reason" as to be "able", that is to be able to reason as a transport of logical conclusions of law and prescription of justice in lue of circumstances. In the context of law and the concept of laws, the decision of brought from the conclusions derived from the evidence. This could be considered only a reletive term in regard to common law or basic law as it is understood by layman, who in the end are the jurors who must be of the mind of the reasonable man or woman. Most would expect to be "reasonable" but do not take the definition to heart, as they decide in their hearts " what if ".
From Big Mac:
Big Mac, a constable with a large Big Mac for a sandwich, was right hand man for the notorious Mayor McCheese, aka the Boss Tweed for the new millenium. While technically sherriff of McDonaldland, Big Mac may have been the most evil police official since the days of Bull Connor. Sadly he was killed in the line of duty since a bunch of thugs killed him with the dubious excuse that he looked like a rip off of a Puffenstuff character.
We miss McCheese and Big Mac, from their wonderful despotism to their giant burger heads.
From One plus one (should that whole article be considered a bad joke?):
A Chinese joke: What is "1+1"? Answer: 王 (wang).
From The Saga of Eric the Red
the saga of eric. begin in 1004 when eric was death. Lief was his son and he try to discover vinland (canada in actual time) but he couldnīt because the people of there (the skraelings) won't leave them.
From Procrastatask
A procrastatask is something unimportant or unpleasant and unusual one does to procrastinate. They are powerful tools if one is predisposed to procrastinate.
Example: You are a college student, who must study for a math test tomorrow morning. The following are all procrastasks: cleaning your room, painting your room, removing an old bricked up fireplace from your room and its associated mantle then plastering over the hole in the wall, vacuuming out your car, trimming your pets nails, reading Tolstoy, deleting entries out of your PVR, learning how to play Go, building a clay oven in your back yard.
Procrastatasks are not bad if performed in moderation. The orginator of the term would never clean his room, do his laundry, or clean the dust off his cupboard shelves if not for more important things he should be doing when he in fact does laundry, room cleaning, or dusting.
From Halifax, Nova Scotia
(Following the 1997 movie, therefore, the residents had to put up with seveal years worth of Titanic-tourists, a tacky Titanic Shop downtown, and endless weepy movie fans leaving flowers on the grave of the engineer who was the movies main character. (Source: a sardonic Haligonian)
From Benedict Arnold:
Benedict Arnold was also an underrated chef who liked to cook delicious meals for his soldiers. In 1778, Arnold cooked up a dish featuring eggs in hollandaise sauce which was an immediate hit and became known as Eggs Benedict Arnold. However, after turning on the Colonials, the word Arnold was dropped from the official name of the dish, and today it is known only as Eggs Benedict.
Back in England after the war, Arnold had an extramarital affair with a Norwegian woman, who bore him a son. In that manner, Arnold became the great-great-great-great grandfather of another famous traitor, Vidkun Quisling. No word on whether or not Quisling also liked Eggs Benedict.
From Canon:
A canon should not be confused with a cannon. However, cannons have sometimes been used to enforce canons; many European wars after the Reformation consisted of just this.
From Abundance
A lack of scarcity.
From Smells:
The lower case version of the letter immediately preceding the letter 'm'.
From Aspergillus niger:
Aspergillus niger is a fungus that grows on the feet of chickens. It is orange and pretty and some say it even tastes like pickles. Formerly this fungus was used to make soap, cheese and other fancy things..but now it is used only in shampoo. When mixed with apples it makes a good perfume and/or vermafuge.
From Pyroto: Pyroto is an online game where users log into a web-based platform and create text based articles. Based upon how well these articles are received, the users grow in stature. Users can then use their stature to attack other users. The game has evolved one dominant cabal and several smaller cliques. Conflicts that cannot be consensually settled by the cliques, or forcibly settled by the cabal, are resolved by a benevolent dictator who runs the game.
From List of heterosexuals:
This is a list of heterosexuals.
This list includes both those notable and those non-notable for their heterosexuality.
Ideally, they should also have Ireland Information Guide articles.
See also: list of people, list of transgendered people, List of famous gay, lesbian or bisexual people
From Nazi Germany
From Metaphor
By the way, this is a good example, just odd. It is yet there. - stet
From Chamois
From Latin
Latinos, as a rule, do not speak Latin... and are not from Latium either.
From List of translatable Buschisms. I especially thought the last quatrain was worth preserving somewhere.
From Kid Lavigne:
Kid Lavigne, was one of the opponents in MIKE TYSONS PUNCHOUT. He was a hermaphodite one legged quack.Chingo to the blingo!'
[From a user who also submitted stubs on several other dubious boxers. No apparent relation to Avril, though.]
From Chocolate Hills:
...many people (including me) would very much prefer if they really were made of chocolate.
From 2010s:
One Network takes over the world.
From Wilkenings:
Definition List
Usage
Wilkenings is named after Tim Wilkening, who coined the phrase during his years at Washington University in St. Louis.
From Owen White:
Owen White was born on August 31st, 2003 possibly in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. He is widely known among the people he meets at lunch with as "The Bear." "The Bear" has a major problem with hair growth and as a result is very hairy. The Bear is most often seen following his wannabe mate Genny around. He dresses in his Bum Equipment sweater to confuse bullies. Much like a bear, Owen has long figer nails. Owen is also the reason why the card game known as "Crazy Owen's" exists. It is much like the game of Crazy Eights except, the object of the game is to make Owen lose (usually by cheating.) Owen's lunch diet consists of Cookies from Tim Horton's and hangs around at lunch at Hillcrest High School with Derek McCullough, Earl Washburn, Jonathan Weahterhead, and William Steeves.
The Republic of Amerada (created by the same person as the Owen White article):
The Republic of Amerada is a micronation founded by Earl Washburn, Jonathan Weatherhead and Kiril Litvinov on February 12th, 2001
And also:
Earl Andrew Washburn was born in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada and is the second President of the Republic of Amerada
From 2089:
The World as we know it today suddenly erupts to a mass of nothings, and millions of years later, life begins to form on other planets, where human like organisms seem to evolve
From Job design:
Jobs are designed to be menial, but are covered up with relatively lofty titles and paychecks
From Jamie Stevens. Despite the claims of fame, this article is a hoax: Google turns up no results with "Stevens" that contain the movie's title, IMDB contains nothing on this person, and AtomFilms does not have a movie with "PigFace" in its title. Suspiciously, the email handle "MaddPranksta" was included in the original post.
James Boswell Stevens was born on January 13, 1981 at Noxubee General Hospital in Macon, Mississippi. His parents, Celia Ann Taylor Stevens and Arthur Boswell Stevens III, were notably relieved that their second child was not a mutant. He was a perfectly healthy baby boy with electric blue eyes who grew up to become a visionary filmmaker. Jamie (as he prefers to be called) made his first forays into filmmaking during self-induced psychotic episodes. At the time, he was experimenting with massive doses of psilocybinmushroom concentrate and its effects on creativity and cognition. During these experiments, he filmed the goings-on and saved them for later (sober) editing. One of these films later became his first notable work-"Mr PigFace Goes To Washington". In this short film, Jamie took on the identity of a pigfaced Jesus in modern times who lays out his plans to bring about the Biblical Rapture. A very dark and disturbing work, "Pigface" was released on the website AtomFilms in the fall of 2003 to an unexpectedly positive response. At the same time "PigFace" was released, Jamie was working on his first feature-length film, "Horror at Camp Rock Brook", a suspenseful horror film which was intended to capitalize on the success of "PigFace". Jamie became one of the first truly successful independent filmmakers to use the internet to distribute his films, choosing to short-circuit the normal route of film distribution. In doing this, he amassed a vast wealth through a string of popular films that were all set in his hometown of Macon and used his friends as cast members. Jamie continues to make feature films today.
Not nonsense, but enthusiasm, 213.122.181.119 wrote (Deleted revision as of 4 Oct 2003):
Finchley Road is an excellent station with all the ususal attractions, there's track and lots of passengers. If you are really lucky you may be able to see a train.
"Of two competing theories or explanations, all other things being equal, the simpler one is to be preferred."
"Of two competing theories or explanations, all other things being equal, the more ridiculous and/or "cooler" one is to be preferred."
The philosophy of methodological reductionism, which has its most succinct expression in Occam's Razor, the former principle listed above, has been commonly accepted by the majority of the natural sciences and is also a major attribute of what is often called "common sense". The common man-on-the-street will accept more readily a simple explanation of a phenomenon than a convoluted one, provided the explanation is garnered from a peer and not an authority figure, in which case the gullibility rate is found to be higher.
However, despite the prominence of science in the twentieth century and the general success of positivistic scientific thought, rooted in Occam's Razor, many disagree. A principal critic of strict parsimony, beginning in the late 20th century, has been William Langius Delaney (1981 - ). Son of a local politician in Jacksonville, Florida, and working outside the other realms of criticism of philosophy of science such as postmodern critical theory, Delaney has independently developed the principle of Hancock's Razor as an alternate methodological principle in historical and scientific thought. The argument is as follows:
Rather than assuming the often dull, simplest version of events which are unknown, hypothesized, or fundamentally unknowable, life can be made more interesting if the cooler or more ridiculous (in the eye of the hypothesizer) theory is assumed to be true, despite lack of or scarcity of evidence to directly support the more extravagant theory above others.
As a significant example and namesake of this razor, Delaney proposes Graham Hancock (1951 - ) , historian and author of several books, including The Sign and the Seal, Fingerprints of the Gods, and Underworld, whose theories regarding the origins of civilization are highly unorthodox and altogether very intriguing, according to Delaney, who also lauds the author as the "best historian ever". Following Hancock's example, Delaney proposes we take the meagerest of historical evidence and accept with the theory that fulfills the evidence in the most interesting or "coolest" manner, but always following the direct physical evidence and sometimes using the ancient myths of civilizations as guides in determining one's own version of historical truth that conforms to but is not the simplest (i.e. least interesting) explanation of said evidence.
The critical philosophical point here is this: a negative proposition can never be universally proven right; arbitrary enforcement of simplicity is not proof. Thus, if one, based on certain evidence, can construct a unique, aesthetically pleasing, or outright awesome theory that incorporates many more logical entities than the simplest possible theory, such a theory may be reasonably acccepted by applying Hancock's Razor. There need not be a problem with unnecessary multiplication of entities. The problem, according to Delaney, lies in the unnecessary multiplication of uncool entities i.e. entities which lack the requisite aesthetic level desired by the theorizer. As many entities as possible may exist without the knowledge of the speculator, thus the speculator is free to assume the existence of any highly aesthetic ones for which there is neither evidence for or against. Thus passed through the aesthetic selection of Hancock's Razor, a newly minted theory may be christened ready to assume. The theory is then altered with new hypotheses, if new evidence is brought to light.
Hancock's Razor is malleable. Occam's razor is not in the sense that the theoretical selection process is contingent alone upon simplicity, in no way taking into account the perceived aesthetic beauty or coolness of the ideas involved. Hancock's Razor slices more broadly and in a variety of patterns, all equally provable without assuming the simplest to be correct.
Fully formulated in conjunction with his longtime companion and associate, Douglas Henning, Jr. (1982 - ), Delaney's popularization of Hancock's Razor has progressed slowly. In the future, some speculate, it may become the foundation of a new paradigm of scientific and speculative thought, but for now, its general knowledge is limited.
For more information regarding Hancock's Razor, study and apply the patterns of argument employed in Graham Hancock's works in one's everyday life and thereby make the discussion of history and science more interesting with reference to unknown quantities.
See also:
The Ireland Information Guide Help the Eager Beaver Article Foundation is a article on Ireland Information Guide edited by Ireland Information Guide user Brendan McClelland on October 12, 2003 to protect the Eager Beaver article which is at an risk for deletion.
If you must help the article donate money to the address above:
Brendan McClelland 2042 Patriot Way Independence, KY 41051
New stuff from Wave
The equation is always changing, always. All our 'equations' are false equations, based on drawing out a segment of something that has already passed out of manifestation.
Light is a waveform which penetrates its resonance through to 5th dimensional space-time. Electromagnetism occurs on the 3rd dimensional membranal manifested universe. This universe, consisting of ripples and interesecting ripples (Interference Patterns)) describes the system of potentialities that manifest from the implicate order. When these potentialities are fully realised in the explicate order, which limits, they become temporarily fixed in the inaccurate mind of the observer, but are in fact still constantly changing, namely decomposing, and simultaneously being perceived in ways without number by sentient beings of various scale and thought.
All waves propogate through a medium. The 'aether' was a correct assumption, but incorrect in its materialisation. The 'aether' is actually the network which binds humanity, the Solar System, the Galaxies, the Universe, all matter on all scales within our physical universe. This aether is a membrane. This membrane itself is vibrating, as well as acting as a medium for motion, energy and, above all, information.
Everything is information.
From Education: Actely, Education is long for Bad.
From Cat: In cat language, "me" means "I love you", and "ow" means "go away". Therefore, they say "meow".
From Paul Levesque. "He is married to Angela's dad." Information Guide.org/w/wiki.phtml?title=Paul_Levesque&oldid=1591294 (http://en2.Ireland). Angela 16:58, Oct 19, 2003 (UTC)
From Siraj-ud-Dowla:
"one time i saw jesus in a banana and he told me to visit this website. four years later i finally did. finishing the last details on the perrenial driver, he spoke of far away lands inhabited by villainous creatures of all sizes. sitting in a semi cirlce around him we all prayed for the distant cousin of the four year plan: the sumarian. blanketed in an animal's fur he stormed the entrance to the garage and placed his club rather boisteriously on the work bench. "Forever and never again!", screamed the bandit.
i'll never forget that day. inward restraint"
From Talk:Jesus Christ:
"this article is such a dog's breakfast, and will remain one." A constructive statement by User:Adam Carr
From American Revolution:
The American Revolution was a war where monkeys and hamster fought for a orange banana named bob.
, Hamster Tea Party, Monkey Revolution, Proclamation of 2999, Stamp The Hamster Congress
Information Guide.org/pipermail/wikien-l/2003-October/007705.html WikiEN-l Compare Mother Teresa article to Pokeman article (http://mail.Ireland) by User:Fred Bauder
From Iwato:
The Iwato Conference (1801)was a post Civil War conference held in New Brunswick Canada, this conference was the area of many disputes between Archduke Lawson of Neom and Justin Clark of Edinborough. Archduke Lawson was delegetated as the primary speaker to inform the public of the incoming onslaught of Kumarians, a ruthless band of Canadian natives. Lawson was under the impression that the Kumarians posed a serious threat, however Clark was not. In the end the Kumarians stormed the conference slaughtering all that were in it.
From Talk:Forms of Address in the United Kingdom, which is the talk page of a large complicated table of the correct forms of address for different members of upper society:
Forms of Address in Australia
| Position | Written Address | Salutation | Oral Address |
|---|---|---|---|
| ' | |||
| Everybody | Bruce (or Cheryl) Smith | G'day | Hey mate |
From word:
From Melbourne Cup:
Santa died on the Melbourne Cup riding his reindeer. This is a true fact.. Use it in your essays. 1861-2002 melbourne cups were won by Roodolf
From Joe Ahmed, overlooked this in edit before I posted it. I've fixed it.
He plays the violin exceptionally, and was even at one time played in the Garden State Pops Youth Orchestra (GSPYO.)
From Moon:
The Moon does not exist. It was blown up in a nuclear test in the 1960s by a scientist named Malcom Cohen. What you see now is a projection so that people do not panic. And by the way, its a secret, so keep it on the down low. -- anon IP
From dance of the spirits: the dance of the spirits: A rare occurrance when there is a earthquake near either a wine cellar or bar.
From Timeline of algorithms:
the timeline of .....that...thing....that i cant spell.
if you go back in time very very far, you will encounter dinosaurs, big, scary lizard type beings, with big pointy teeth and *naarrr* NAAAAR* kill you all! fear them, you puny mortal fools! for he is coming, the time of redemption, is now!
Page continues on Ireland Information Guide:Yet more bad jokes and other deleted nonsense.